Monday, February 16, 2015

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of February 8, 2015

1. Be There for a Friend’s Relationship Crisis, But Don’t Give Advice, Wall Street Journal
The most important skill for marital first responders is listening, Dr. Doherty says. . . Refrain from jumping to a conclusion, and remember: You are hearing just one side of the story.

2. How to Fight with Your Spouse Without Ruining Your Marriage, in 9 Steps, Washington Post
It’s never too late to apologize. By which I mean, when it’s obviously far too late for saying sorry to do any good at all, you still should.

3. To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This, The New York Times
But despite all this, I’ve begun to think love is a more pliable thing than we make it out to be. Arthur Aron’s study taught me that it’s possible — simple, even — to generate trust and intimacy, the feelings love needs to thrive.

4. Taking Risks in Love, The New York Times
The second thing love requires is mindfulness — pure focus, and total engagement in the current activity. “While washing the dishes,” the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh teaches, “one should only be washing the dishes.”

5. Falling Marriage Rates Reveal Economic Fault Lines, The New York Times
In their analysis of census and Bureau of Labor Statistics data, they concluded that if married households today equaled the numbers seen in 1980, “the growth in median income of families with children would be 44 percent higher.”

6. Does Marriage Make You Happier?, Newsweek
Children born outside of marriage are roughly five times more likely to be poor compared to their peers in married-parent homes and are at risk for other negative outcomes.

7. How to Revive the American Dream In Blue-Collar America, Real Clear Markets
This same study finds that 37 percent of the decline in men's employment since the 1970s can be linked to declining marriage rates.

For more, see here

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of January 25, 2015

1. Family Breakdown and Poverty, Education Next
Some 40 percent of children raised by single mothers are living in poverty, according to the Census Bureau, while roughly 8 percent of children raised by married parents are poor.

2. Forget ‘Gray Divorce’: Here’s How to Make Love Last, The Wall Street Journal
The romantic spark is important, but over the long term there has to be something more, and that is friendship. A core aspect of that is the ability to embrace your partner’s interests, even if you aren't initially particularly interested.

3. How Marriage Makes People Healthier, The Economist
The researchers conclude that over time, marriage seems to be adding its very own dose of good health to a relationship, something they dub the “protective effect”.

4. What Is the Divorce Rate, Anyway?, Sliding vs Deciding: The Blog of Scott Stanley
[Y]oung married adults are not divorcing at the same rate as their parents did at similar ages, so it is likely that the divorce rate will decline in the future, once the baby boomers (who were and continue to be highly divorce prone) leave the population.

5. How Many Families Would Be Left Out by Obama’s Tax Plan?, Family Studies
The problem with Obama’s plan is that it overlooks not only families who currently have a stay-at-home parent and would like to keep it that way but also the substantial share of dual-earner families who would like to have a parent at home but feel they cannot afford to do so.

6. Is It Finally Time to Put Marriage in the Dustbin?, National Fatherhood Initiative
What hasn't changed since we started collecting data on marriage rates is the ream of data on the impact on children when they grow up without their married parents that shows these children, regardless of socio-economic status, don't fare as well, on average, as children who grow up with their married parents

7. The Brangelina Effect: Are Cohabiting Parents Turning to Marriage?, The Telegraph
Gianna Lisiecki-Cunane, a Family lawyer with JMW Solicitors, said: “Just like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, there are many couples who are influenced by their children’s wishes and decide to marry not as a rejection of cohabitation but to provide security for their families.

For more, see here

Monday, January 19, 2015

The M.Guy Tweet, January 11, 2015

1. A Longtime Proponent Of Marriage Wants To Reassess The Institution’s Future, The Washington Post
“It’s striking. She’s pro-marriage,” said Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University who writes about the marriage gap, most recently in the book “Labor’s Love Lost.” “So this is like a general who’s lost several battles saying, ‘I’m not sure it’s worth continuing the war.’”

2. Should We Stop Tracking The Divorce Rate?, Las Vegas Review-Journal
“It’s not often you see in Washington academic researchers — many of who are perhaps liberal — along with socially conservative groups that use marriage data for an advocacy agenda team up,” said Cohn.

3. Hundreds Of Retirees Share Secrets To A Happy Marriage, USA Today
And they said when you "look back from the finish line over a half century or more of marriage, lifelong marriage is incredibly good. It's almost indescribable. It's such a source of joy," he says.

4. Letter From the Editor: Marriage, And When Liberals Are Wrong, The New York Times
We should also be willing to say when we think liberals don’t have a claim on the evidence — such as when they argue that education is overrated (but still send their own children to expensive colleges) or when they argue that marriage isn’t very important.

5. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, But Science Can Help, National Public Radio
In fact, one small study found that under an MRI scanner, the brains of the heartsick can resemble the brains of those experiencing cocaine withdrawal. 

6. Married People Aren’t Just Richer And Better-educated. They’re Also Having More Babies, The Washington Post
At the same time, non-marital births to mothers in "cohabiting unions" with a partner have been increasing over the past decade, up from 41 percent in 2002 to 58 percent.

7. Why Stick With Marriage?, The National Review Online
Tell moderately educated young men and women the truth that college-educated people know and live by: It is better for you and your children to wait until you are married before you conceive a child.

For more, see here.

Monday, December 22, 2014

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of December 14, 2014

1. The Imitation of Marriage, The New York Times
To what extent can the greater stability of upper-class family life, and the habits that have made it possible, be successfully imitated further down the socioeconomic ladder?

2. Multiracial Marriage on the Rise, Brookings Institution
In 1960, before immigration levels to the United States started to rise, multiracial marriages constituted only 0.4 percent of all U.S. marriages. That figure increased to 8.4 percent in 2010 and for recent newlyweds, 15 percent.

3. Sex and Divorce: What’s the Connection?, Family Studies
Most important, multiple sex partners seem to increase the chances of divorce for working class and college-educated Americans alike. (Note here that the association between sex partners and divorce is robust even after controlling for race, ethnicity, age at first marriage, and family structure of origin).

4. Census Bureau Proposes Dropping Some Marriage and Divorce Questions, Pew Research Center
The numbers help guide the distribution of more than $416 billion in federal funds, and are widely used by government officials, businesses, researchers and advocacy groups.

5. The Author Speaks, Psychology Today
That means that negative emotions, like defensiveness and contempt, have more power to hurt a relationship than positive emotions have to help a relationship.

6. Are Gadget-Free Bedrooms the Secret to a Happy Relationship?, The New York Times
One way to find a balance, according to researchers I spoke with, is to organize device-free outings with your significant other. . . At home. . . researchers suggested setting up gadget-free zones, where laptops, iPads and other devices are banned.

7. Parenting Without Marriage [AUDIO], KERA
[Conversation with Isabel V. Sawhill, senior fellow in Economic Studies at the Brookings Institute, on her new book, Generation Unbound: Drifting into Sex and Parenthood without Marriage.]

For more, see here.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of November 23, 2014

1. The No. 1 Cause Of Divorce May Not Be What You Think, Deseret News
[O]ur affections often grow toward our investments. Wherever we put our time, money and energy also ends up receiving our passion, interest and affection.

2. How Did Your Parents’ Divorce Affect You?, The Telegraph
Nearly one in three said one parent had tried to turn them against the other and more than a quarter said their parents tried to involve them in the dispute.

3. A Bad Marriage Can Literally Break Your Heart, Especially If You’re A Woman, The Washington Post
So while a lot of marriage counseling may focus on younger couples, the study authors emphasize that older couples would be wise to pay attention to the qualities of their marriages, too.

4. The Benefits: Evaluation Summaries of Healthy Romantic Relationship Programs for Youth, The Dibble Institute
Benefits include: Reduce teen dating violence and abuse and increase youth’s asset. . . significantly delay the onset of sexual activity. . . and decrease peer-to-peer physical violence and improve communications with parents.

5. The Biggest Reason For Income Inequality Is Single Parenthood, The American Enterprise Institute
Research by Harvard economists, Chetty et al. concludes that the single strongest correlate of upward economic mobility across geographic regions of America is the fraction of children living in single-parent families.

6. The Right and Campus Rape, National Review Online
So, in one large class at the University of Virginia, fully 39 percent of the female students report having been directly affected by forcible sexual assault. 

7. What’s Stopping Young Adults From Forming Stable Families?, Family Studies
[T]heir experiences of family fragmentation sharpen their desire to get and stay married, on the one hand, but on the other hand it also shakes their confidence in the durability of marriage. 

For more, see here.

Monday, November 17, 2014

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of November 9, 2014

1. America’s Relationship Status, In Five Maps [Visual], The Washington Post
The FlowingData blog has created these fascinating maps of America’s marital status: The counties in the US with the highest proportion of married, never married, divorced, separated and widowed people.

2. Millennials Have Inherited The Black Marriage Gap, National Public Radio
The cultural change with marriage has been so sweeping that everyone wants someone who they will regard as a soul mate, if you will. The challenge is that it's very difficult to realize that ideal if you're not affluent and well-educated.

3. Marriage Is Pro-Growth, National Review Online
Wilcox and Lerman write that 51 percent of the 1980-2000 decline in male employment is due to the drop in marriage rates, and is highest among unmarried men. 

4. Four-in-Ten Couples are Saying “I Do,” Again, Pew Research
[A]lmost 42 million adults in the U.S. have been married more than once, up from 22 million in 1980.

5. For A Lasting Marriage, Try Marrying Someone Your Own Age, The Atlantic
Marriage is, above all, about 50-50 partnership; differences in ages also mean differences in life experience and cultural reference points.

6. Marital Demography: The Immigrant Difference, Family Studies
But the central finding from Qian’s report – that neither education nor economics matter as much for immigrant family structures as they do for the U.S.-born – raises a number of questions. 

7. Science Says Lasting Relationships Come Down To 2 Basic Traits, Business Insider
"There's a habit of mind that the masters have," Gottman explained in an interview, "which is this: they are scanning social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. They are building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully. Disasters are scanning the social environment for partners' mistakes."

For more, see here

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of October 26, 2014

1. The Family Deficit, The Washington Post
Sawhill quotes from one respected study that “married women and men live longer; they are less likely to be disabled. . . . [They] have better sex than the unmarried and they are less likely to be lonely.”

2. Want A Successful Career? Look For This Trait In A Spouse., The Washington Post
Yet when it came to the effect of a spouse's personality traits on a person's career, only high scores on conscientiousness had any impact, whether positive or negative.

3. Stress And Substance Abuse Increase More For Women Who Divorce Or Separate, Deseret News National
Married men and women are both less likely to use drugs or medications to relax, at about 17 percent, compared to the roughly 30 percent of separated or divorced men and women who say they do.

4. 8 Ways To A Happy Marriage, American Association of Retired Persons
Many people start out with a fixed idea of what they want from a partner, which becomes an excuse to break up the relationship when they (inevitably) don't get exactly what they expected. Flexible people, by contrast, work hard to figure out their partner, then readjust their expectations as necessary.

5. The Ideal And The Reality Of European Family Size, Family Studies
So it is an open question whether the two-child ideal will contribute to a fertility rebound or the realities of European life will suppress (and possibly even erode) that ideal.

6. For Richer, For Poorer: How Family Structures Economic Success In America [VIDEO], American Enterprise Institute
How much do changes in marriage and family stability affect this shifting economic landscape, the economic status of men, and the health of the American dream?

7. What An Intact Family Has To Do With The American Dream, In Six Charts, American Enterprise Institute
[A]bout one-third of recent increases in family-income inequality and male joblessness, and a significant share of median family-income stagnation, can be linked to the declining share of Americans who are getting and staying married.

For more, see here.